The internal battle of coping #Blogboost

We have a lot of lifestyle things we do in our treatment plan. Things we adjust and do on our side aside from medications. But it can be a lot of effort to keep it all up, especially if you really see no immediate benefit from anything.

The angel on my shoulder said exercise, avoid triggers, eat right, meditate, do your physio, do yoga and take your vitamins.

Lately I have been feeling angry, frustrated and somewhat drops of depression with the pain in relation to my migraines. Because there is nothing they can do. Because the pain isn’t managed. And I get into these moods, likely Not helped by my depression I’d say, that says it literally doesn’t matter what I do the migraines never change. So why bother even doing these things. What Is Even The Point. And so I slack off on the exercise. The medication. My vitamins. And I isolate myself a little more than usual because I just want to deal with the pain in the comfort of my own home for a bit.

I have never seen any response from anything I have ever tried. So that devil on my shoulder has ammunition. Literally nothing I have done or not done has changed my migraines from daily to less than daily. But this devil… he really just has no hope. He says be hopeless. Slide into a depression. Give up. Don’t think about it at all anymore. Nothing matters.

Then my other side kicks in and says I have to try. Maybe none of the things I do, do a damn thing. Maybe combined they do. Maybe over time with medications they will. Maybe, maybe, maybe. All I know is they do no harm. They give me something to focus on. And hope for I suppose. I think in the sense they give me something to strive for.

However, as you might imagine I never have much of a routine fluctuating between the two of these. Depression has a way of messing with my routines anyway as it saps all motivation to do a damn thing. Generally when I am in high pain at that.

Kudos to those that do dramatic diet changes and massive exercise programs. Because seriously I have to convince myself that doing these things in theory is even worthwhile. I have to then pretend I have hope. I have to work myself into some motivation.

I will say I seem to have developed a mindful meditation routine at night. No matter what it seems to be easy to get into. And relaxing before bed. At least I can say I have that down.

It would be more Consistent if I did all the things in my treatment plan… even if I felt like crap, depressed and felt it was all pointless anyway. That seems to be the goal. Then I would lose no momentum.

What interferes with your treatment plan?

Mine is clearly a) Depression b) pain levels c) frustration with lack of progress ever.

 

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