Missing work, yet again

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With chronic migraines working with migraines is nothing new to me. Nothing pleasant about it but nothing new.

The pain clinic recently stated I could not work full-time and had to reduce to part-time. I agreed. It has been functionally impossible for me to work full-time with daily chronic migraines and comorbid pain.

Turns out migraines don’t actually care if you are working full-time or part-time. They get brutal on the pain intensity when they feel like it. And migraines are like a hat of nasty tricks. Every migraine pulls from the hat to see what nasty tricks comes with it. Today is nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. This is not working sort of symptoms. Not to mention I ‘lost’ the medication I took pretty much as soon as I took it. So no migraine aborted for me. This particular stretch is a a very brutal menstrual migraine stretch. It has in fact been a very difficult week for me overall and I anticipate this trigger to be over quite soon. But it is going with quite the bang.

So part-time I am still missing work on high intensity days and days with extremely bad symptoms. And I still feel guilty about it. And it still makes me angry and upset. And no one wins here. Not me, not my employer. Not anyone.

Usually I only miss work when the migraine is intense (in the 9 range) on waking or the symptoms are pervasive on waking. Otherwise I got to work and tough it out no matter how hellish it gets and it can get pretty hellish. But once I am There, I am there. I just try and figure out, as my image above suggests, how to manage it. Power through? Take a triptan which never fails to make me dumb and tired. And has about a 60% chance of working at all; either aborting or reducing for some time. Or taking a painkiller, which mildly reduces pain to a lower level for a small, limited duration. Obviously other symptoms can cause some serious work disruptions and they Do. Vertigo, vomiting bouts and obscuring auras being the most intrusive. But you still have to deal with all the rest of the show as well. Brain-dead, having issues with using your words, fatigue, intense nausea, hearing issues, photophobia, phonophobia and sensitivity to scents.

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